the distance is just not fun at all. it’s not easy to feel consistently emotionally connected & sometimes i forget what it’s like to feel his arms wrapped around my waist. tonight i’m under the weather so i think i miss him & his closeness all the more. B made me this little picture back in ‘08, a month or two before i moved to PA. sometimes when i’m not feeling well i dig it up from that long ago email & it makes me smile. because of his lifestyle/job, the distance between us has almost always been very prominent, so if there’s one thing i can really appreciate it’s that we have almost all of it documented in letters & words sent back & forth over the last handful of years. 

he’ll be here in a few weeks for a (too) short visit, but until then we rely on phone calls & video chats to keep us connected. sometimes he practices guitar while i just relax & listen after a long day at work. the other night we watched a charlie brown christmas together by pressing “play” at the same time. i fell asleep like i often do when we watch any movie together & when i woke up a couple hours later he had decided to practice guitar & to leave the video chat open. i guess i felt his comfort even through his video presence & i drifted back to sleep in a minute or two.

it’s not the ideal situation but it’s what we have for now & i have to be thankful for that.